yeahblog..

4-5 P.M. (if I’m not mistaken). 12th day of June 1898. The Philippine flag was hoisted while the Philippine National Anthem was playing. The Philippines proudly proclaimed its independence amidst the on-going revolution against the dying Spanish colonial power, as Spain continues to lose its control over its colonies including the land they claimed they have discovered through Ferdinand Magellan’s circumnavigation. We’re the first-ever republic in Asia. Sounds cool, huh.

But are we really free on the 109th celebration of our independence?

NO.

Basically, we are still prisoners of our past. We have a bad history. Many problems remained unsolved in the past are unsurprisingly bugging the Filipino society.

Poverty remains to be the worst problem. Many people gradually die due to starvation and to the hopelessness they feel.

The Filipino culture has become a melting pot of various cultures, thus resulting to misidentification of the unique Filipino culture. Colonial mentality. Lack of nationalism. Intellectual exodus. Elitism.

American imperialism is obviously manifested with the Philippine government’s strong adherence to American policies and with the kind of treaties we have with the U.S. government, even though these moves being done in favor of the U.S. clearly violates the sovereignty of our land and the basic rights of our people.

I strongly feel that imperialism (and colonialism, as well) has a lot to do with the past and present hardships of the Filipino society. Had Ferdinand Magellan did not "discover" the Philippines and had Miguel Lopez de Legazpi failed to colonize us, the Filipino culture will be able to flourish at its best, maybe with a Muslim orientation. As I see it, our country is on its way to cultural standardization, but it was just disrupted due to Spanish colonialism. A very good example would be Japan (though Japan become an imperialist, too), since the Japanese had managed to close themselves from foreign influence and to develop their peculiar way of life inspite of many borrowings from the Chinese and from others. The early Filipinos cannot adopt various cultural influences and make it their own the same way the Japanese did it.

Why do we continue to adhere side-by-side with the Americans when in fact they contributed very well to the crisis we have now? Have we forgotten the Battle of Manila Bay and the deception of America? Have we forgotten the well-planned Battle of Pinaglabanan that justified the Treaty of Paris of 1898 and the Benevolent Assimilation? Have we forgotten the Philippine-American War that caused the death of millions of Filipinos? And yet, inspite of these hostilities, we still love tying up with America. Damn it. What do these Americans did to improve our country? Establishing hospitals? Making education accessible to all? Instituting the democratic form of government? Saving us from Japanese invasion? Nah, enough of that. Filipinos can do those things, maybe more than that, if we were given a chance to escape from blatant control of these Americans. Up until now, we cling to American interests although these interests clearly violates Philippine sovereignty. Why is that so? Can’t we disentangle ourselves to American influence, at least in politics and governance?

It’s not that I do not treasure the sacrifices being made by our ancestors to regain independence, but I just don’t see why I must rejoice.

Seeing the present, can we really rejoice and proudly say we are Filipinos experiencing genuine independence?

***

My two-week vacation will be over in a few days’ time. God, time flies so fast. And I’m not yet enrolled. Hehe.

I’m a grade-conscious student, but why in the world do I feel lazy to read all the required readings? Whew.

My mind’s drained at the moment. What a hell week I had last week. See my blog:

http://theredsideofme.blogspot.com

Thanks.

Visit my new blog:

http://theredsideofme.blogspot.com

Salamat!

Whew, double issue ako for this day. Astig naman. Hehe. Pero sa isyung ito, maglalabas na ako talaga ng agitation.

T-in-ext sa akin ng kaibigan ko from UP Los Banos:

"From Inquirer (27Aug2006) Sabi ni Justice Secretary Raul Gonzalez, ang UP daw ang nagpo-produce ng mga destabilizer at naked na mga estudyante. Hindi daw siya magtataka kapag nakita niyang libro na lang ang bitbit natin. Saka wala raw tayong utang na loob,  binigyan tayo ng state ng ‘world-class education’ tapos kinakalaban pa natin sila. Graduate raw siya ng UST kaya raw ‘well-behaved’ siya."

Grabe, hindi ko matanggap ang mga sinabi niya. Hindi ko makita ang basehan niya. Ang mga UP students daw, destabilizers at naked students. Oo, destabilizers ang UP students. Destabilizers ng isang bulok na sistemang umiiral sa lipunang Pilipino sa ngayon. Sa palagay ba niya, kung matino ang pamahalaan at sistemang umiiral sa ngayon, magagawa ba ng mga mag-aaral ng UP na kalabanin ito? Kung nagbibigay ba naman ng mataas na budget para sa edukasyon, magpoprotesta ba ang UP at ang iba pang apektado ng problemang ito? Kung walang pagsasamantala sa malawak na hanay ng mga magsasaka at manggagawa mula sa mga naghaharing uri, patuloy pa rin bang lalahok sa mga mobilisasyon ang mga aktibista ng UP? Palagay ko hindi. Sabi nga ng mga kasama, parang malayo pa ang panahong magkakaayos ang UP at ang pamahalaan, dahil malayo pa ang panahong mawawala ang mga salot na ito ng lipunan. Kaya Raul Gonzalez, hindi kami bulag. Nakikita lamang namin ang linyang dapat tahakin ng bawat isa: ang maglingkod para sa ikabubuti ng nakararaming sambayanan.

World-class education. Sira-sirang mga aircon. Wala pa nga daw kuryente sa UP Diliman kadalasan. Gula-gulannit na mga pasilidad. Ganoon na pala ang basehan ngayon ng isang Raul Gonzalez ng isang world-class na edukasyon. And FYI din, Justice Secretary, hindi mo dapat isumbat sa amin na binibigyan kami ng pamahalaan ng edukasyon, dahil karapatan namin iyon at hindi pribilehiyo. At hindi rin naman kayo ang nagbibigay ng pondo para pag-aralin kami, kundi ang taumbayan mismo. Binabawasan ninyo pa nga ang budget na dapat sana’y pinakikinabangan ng napakaraming mag-aaral hindi lamang ng UP kundi pati ng iba pang State Colleges and Universities. Grabe talaga, hindi ko makuha ang lohika ng mga pahayag mo.

UST graduate raw siya kaya well-behave siya. So what kung UST siya? Okay, I have nothing against with UST, pero hindi naman kayang i-justify ng pinanggalingang pamantasan kung ano ang katangian ng isang tao. Ni hindi ko nga makita sa mga sinasabi niya ang katangian ng isang well-behaved na tao. Kung talagang well-behaved ang isang tao, alam niya kung ano ang nararapat niyang sabihin. Sensitibo siya sa mga maaari niyang masagasaan o masaktan sa mga sinasabi niya. Ngunit hindi ka ganoon, Raul Gonzalez. Hindi ko makita ang mga aral na iniwan sa iyo ng ilang taon mong pamamalagi sa UST.

Whew, bastusan na ito kung bastusan. Justice Secretary Raul Gonzalez, sana naman ay nagiging mindful ka sa kung anong lumalabas sa bibig mo. Pansin ko lamang, maraming mga pahayag na nanggagaling sa iyo ang talagang kapuna-puna. Sana naman ay sinusuri mo ang lohika ng mga sinasabi mo, huwag iyong basta na lamang makapagbitiw ng pahayag. Maging mapag-isip ka kung sino ang masasagasaan mo. Kaya hindi rin ako magtataka kung bakit nagalit sa iyo si dating Pangulong Aquino sa iyong pahayag dati. Pakiusap ko lang, huwag ka nang dumaldal just for the sake na makapagbigay lang ng opinyon. Less talk, less mistakes.

Hay buhay. Ang malas naman. On maintenance pala ang blogdrive ngayon, kaya hindi ako makapaglagay ng aking entry ngayon. Whew, buti na lang at may friendster blog ako. Ire-redirect ko na lang. Hehe.

Hay, hindi maganda ang aking mga nararamdaman these past few days. Grabe, inuubo talaga ako nang matindi. At hindi siya nakakatuwa. Hindi ako makagawa ng mga bagay-bagay. Very moody pa. Tapos parang lagi pang pagod sa araw-araw dahil sa kakatahol at kakasinga sa tissue. Shit talaga. Kaya nga hindi ako nakapaghanda para sa mga departmental exams ko for today. Magre-review pa sana ako, pero talagang sinasama ang katawan ko. Grabe, nahirapan talaga ako. Hindi lang sa exams ng Math1 at Socsci1 kundi pati ang mismong katawan ko. Hirap na hirap sa maya’t mayang pag-ubo. Shit talaga.

Hay, sana talaga mawala na itong sakit ko. Ang hirap eh. Gustuhin ko man mag-absent, pero sayang din iyong isang araw na hindi mo ilalagi sa campus. Marami pa akong mami-miss at marami pa akong hindi maisa-submit. Hehe. Buti na lang talaga at sanay na ako sa mga ganitong bagay since high school. Hindi na ako masyadong naninibago.

™Hehe.

Grabe, ngayon lang uli ako nagkaroon ng time para i-share at i-express ung thoughts ko dito sa blog. Hehe, wala lang. Medyo tinatamad na akong mag-update lately eh.

Napakaraming nangyari this vacation. As in sobra. Hehe. Kahit puro text lang ako lagi. Hehe. Lagi akong umaalis ng house to update my reconsideration at UPM> Hehe, thank God naman dahil lahat ng efforts ko ay rewarded. Imagine, I’ve went for about 12 times sa UPM! Hehe, medyo hopeless na nga ako that time kasi sobrang late ko na but still hindi pa ako nare-recon. Pero napakalaki ng pasasalamat ko kay God for givng me a chance to pursue my studies at UP. Hehe, dream school ko talaga un eversince. Napakarami kong natutunan through this experience talaga. Kahit hindi ako talaga UPCAT passer, natutunan ko how to be patient and how to completely give your trust to God. Naisip ko ring whenever problem arises, always consider God as your first resort. Sa Kanya muna before on anyone else. Aside roon, I also learned that everything can be achieved through hardwork. Grabe, sobrang nagtiyaga ako sa pag-update every now and then. Hehe, muntik na ako sa TIP pumasok. At muntik na rin akong mawalan ng fallback dahil lumagpas ako sa deadline ng TUP. Thank God at may TIP pa rin. Malaki rin ang pasasalamat ko sa TIP, kasi ang bait ng mga tao roon. Sobra! Nagkaroon ako ng puwede kong pasukan or fallback if ever na hindi ako mare-recon sa UPM.

Gusto ko rin magpasalamat sa parents ko. In each and every move na gagawin ko, they’ve been always there to support me. Kahit na dina-down ung family ko ng mga uncle ko on the father side. Shit silang lahat, hindi por que kami ung pinakamahirap, kaya na nila kaming ganunin ng basta-basta. Kaso sobrang nakakalungkot talaga isipin kasi kung sino pa ung mga taong ine-expect mong tumulong at mag-encourage sa iyong mag-aral ka, sila pa ung may ganang mang-down sa’yo. Baka nakakalimutan nilang my dad was responsible kung ano sila ngayon. Kung hindi sila pinag-aral ng dad ko, wala sila ngayon diyan. I was really crying during my birthday kasi un ung news na sinabi sa akin ng dad ko–na ung uncle ko ay nagsalita ng ganoon sa kanya. How heart-breaking, yet it established my aim more. Amp sila.

Next time na lang ung part 2.

Hehe..™

™hehe.

wow, sobrang tagal ko ng hindi nakakapag-update ng aking blog. hehe. nung pumasa pa yata ako ng la salle ung aking huling update. hehe. wala lang.

hindi ko na siguro iisa-isahin ang mga nangyari sa akin for the past few days. or months? hehe. nakalagay na kasi sa isang mini-notebook ang lahat-lahat eh. dun na rin ako nagse-senti kadalasan. kaya hindi ko na ma-update. hehe.

pero nevertheless, sobrang andami na talagang nangyari for the past few days. dumaan na ang valentines, ang prom at mga kung anu-anong mga activities and celebrations. wah, sobrang masaya ako ngayong fourth year. kasi franklin ako eh. hindi siguro ako mabubuhay kung hindi ako franklin. un lang masasabi ko. kaso malapit na akong magtapos, at maghihiwa-hiwalay na ang franklin. pero okies lang. naging fruitful naman ang aking taon sa section na ito. hehe.

basta, update na lang uli ako kapag may time.

hehe.™

™hehe.

yeah, i’m quite back to normal. i mean, the feeling i had on my previous blog entry was different from this entry. however, i just can’t forget my stupidity. whoa, thank God i have a friend - a very close friend - named dash. she’s indeed one of the persons i can lean on and would listen to my sentiments in life. a bestfriend material.

hehe. i can now laugh. hehe. i have regained myself once again, after some stupidity had ruined my entire nature. after that night, i have contemplated that some things need time. there is a right time for everything. maybe it is not yet the time for us, since i am still unable to express my feelings that much. but i know that when the situation requires it, then i’ll do it. but i should befriend her right at this moment. that’s why i talked to her yesterday even just for a while. it’s a big help for us to establish ties. hehe.

whoa, today is saturday, and some things have made my day. i had a great time with Franklin today. actually, we just talked things for our demonstration on wednesday. but later, we played dotA. hehe. even maan and edgar played! imagine those grade-conscious people! hehe. actually, they admitted that they were hooked on, especially edgar. hehe. after playing, we ate at a canteen there. we really had a happy time together.

when we parted ways, i went to SM Manila. as usual, to play dance maniax. hehe. i was finished playing the first game when i saw some students coming from a high school near us. i thought they cut their classes. hehe, quite morbid. but when i saw groups of students, especially my former elementary classmates, i then found out that they watched a play at St. Scholastica’s College. hehe. after some time, i saw gelli. then i saw remund, kim, khryceis, hannah, chrissie, cleven and others.  hehe. i went with chrissie and hannah’s group. we grouped even on our way home. it is really fulfilling to see your former classmates.

but what really made my day is seeing treish. hehe. corny, but seeing her made my day. whoa, she’s really stucked on my mind and heart. i just hope i would be able to express everything to her when i recompose myself. but i hope that when that happens, it’s not too late.

hehe.™

™…

shit..this day is really a bad day for me. sobrang nakakaasar talaga. ang haba na ng na-type ko, at puro English pa naman ‘yun, pero nawala dahil sa crap na backspace. crap talaga. actually, it’s just one of the reasons for me to feel this way. some things assumed were not realized eventually. some things were too immobile, retaining their former status. whoa, i don’t know what into me right now!

i am aware that neither bad spirits nor other elements have penetrated my system. however, there is just a certain feeling that really have been surpassing everything. i don’t have an idea about that feeling, but i could sense that there is something wrong within me. i thought that if i would be able to confess what i feel for her, then everything would fall into place. but as i have said earlier, some things assumed were not realized. having said everything to her, i assumed that it would be a start of a good friendship between us. we started everything through the use of our ever-reliable phones. we talked anything under the sun, and that made me feel quite close to her. i feel as if she’s right beside me, chatting with me, laughing with me. but there’s no follow-up after. i know that i am a guy whose ego, confidence and pride overflow. but upon seeing her, all of those foundations gradually crash down. i have realized that sometimes too much of ego, pride and confidence just bring dismay. i am disappointed of what i’ve been doing for the past few weeks after the Confessions. it is quite abnormal that after you have breathed out everything, things would go back to zero. hey man, what’s happening with you? i’ve been asking myself that question for so many days, but the answer just complicates my mind more than before. i don’t know what i really feel right now. yeah, i love her, but cowardice have been overrunning my Triangular Foundation. that’s weird, actually.

whoa, i’ve been loving her for months, but only a single step has been carried out. hey, mr. textus addictus, will you just stop there? will you befriend her on text only? hey, think again. i am a martyr when it comes to love. really. but i think that martyrdom is just too much to kill me. i’ve been hurt for so many times, but still continue to move on and go with the flow of life. i know that’s a norm in this big theater. i’ve been thinking if there’s my martyrdom brings sense. there’s no sense. i’ve been a martyr for a love that i don’t even dare to fight for. i’ve been suffering this pain for a love that i couldn’t express out. so what’s the sense? i don’t have the right to say that she was the one whose eyes are diverted so as not to see my feelings. i am the one responsible for what i’m feeling right at this moment. yes, i am a big crap. useless human being.

do you think that she would believe what i had told her before? on what i’ve been doing, i don’t reckon she would take it seriously, since she’s not seeing my effort and my true feeling to her. i think she thinks of me right now as "a guy whose will is broken, a crippled guy". words are not enough for her to see my true intentions to her, but i don’t know what to do. sometimes, i think this love i offer to her is not enough.

God, please help me. i really love her.

…™

™hehe.

eto na ang last sa three-part blog entry ko. hehe, wala lang. lagi kasi akong tinatamad na i-type na lang lahat sa isang upuan.

so eto na nga pala ang part na may kinalaman sa pinaggagagawa ko last sembreak. hehe. wow, before the sembreak, ang daming mga activities at mga layasan akong ginawa. i think that’s the reason why almost all of my sembreak days were spent in our house. grabe, medyo nakaka-toxic na rin pala sa house namin ngayon. hehe. i just didn’t like the atmosphere. i’ve been used to gimmicks and malling. hehe. kaya nga almost everyday, all i’ve done was to text. hehe. grabe, you could not even separate my fingers from the phone. i would be separated only if i have to take a bath. kahit kasi kumakain, the textcapade is just unstoppable. unlimited kasi e. hehe. hay, mr. textus addictus talaga.

for me, my one-week-long sembreak was quite a punishment. wah, my wallet was really zero! hehe. that’s another reason for me to stay inside the house. how would i be able to be with friends kung wala ngang pera? hay, poor mr. textus addictus, hindi makalayas. grabe talaga, sobrang naba-bad trip ako sa bahay. thank God i have a phone. if i didn’t have, i would have died from loneliness, kasi nga wala akong communication sa mga tao. hehe. you’re just too lucky, mr. textus addictus. buti na lang at napaayos mo na. pero i’m still hoping for a new phone in the future. i’m really thankful to have blue, heart, and other texters in the land. i have survived the long weekend. pero masaya pa rin naman kahit paano. at least there are no assignments to do, no projects to worry for. but there’s an upcoming test for us to consider. hay, buwisit na test, itinapat after the sembreak!hehe.

the only time i know that i was able to went out of the house is opening day of SM Supercenter Valenzuela. hehe, wala lang. si mr. textus addictus talaga, hindi lang adik sa text, pati na rin sa malling. so ayon na nga, that day i was able to freed myself from the prison cell. hehe. pero actually, hindi naman talaga ako naghirap e. gusto ko lang tawaging ganoon kasi na-bore ako e. hehe. at pagdating ko doon, wow! i was disappointed how the mall looks like. grabe, ang liit niya! para sa isang galang tulad ko, maliit yun! hehe. pero ayos lang yun, as long as may magagalaang mall. hehe. at as expected, i went to the amusement center. for what? for dance maniax! at sobrang bwisit na bwisit ako talaga sa machine na yun doon sa quantum! imagine, i failed three times! na hindi sa akin nangyari eversince. wah, sobrang pinahiya ako ng machine na yun! that was a big crap! hehe. na-drain tuloy lalo ako! asar na asar talaga ako.

tapos nga pala, umuwi ako sa province namin, sa batangas. hehe, wala lang. my ninang persuaded me to went with her. e libre naman ang pamasahe, kaya sige, alis na! saka medyo nababato na talaga ako sa house namin. besides, i need money, and that’s one of the ways to acquire it. hehe, wala lang. nagulat nga si lola when she found out na kasama pala ako. hehe. kaso medyo nalungkot sila doon when i told them na hindi na ako makakauwi sa christmas season. pero ayos na rin yun. hehe. naging fruitful naman ang aking all saint’s sa batangas. it has been a long time since umuwi ako on that season. hehe. dumalawa nga kami sa sementeryo e. hehe. ang tagal ko nang hindi nakakapunta sa sementeryo doon. hehe. kainitan pa yun ng araw. hehe.

hehe. salamat po kung inabangan ninyo pa yung three-part blog ko. hehe. basta, if you want to be updated with my happenings or with my life, just go to this blog. hehe. watch out for my other blogs here. i promise, i would post more regular. hehe.

hehe..™